Iridescence
by Gyoro and Ururun
Summary: Severus dies in the Shrieking Shack and finds himself being sent back in time to relive his teenage years, with the knowledge of his past. Now, he can use this to change the many things that went wrong in his original life, perhaps even with Lily. Severus/Lily.
1. Chapter 1: Death and Rebirth

**Summary: **Severus dies in the Shrieking Shack and finds himself being sent back in time to relieve his teenage years, with the knowledge of his past. Now, he can use this to change the many things that went wrong in his original life, perhaps even with Lily.

**Disclaimer: **JK Rowling owns everything HP.

**Notes: **Okay! So I know a lot of fics have the sent back in time theme and this is no exception. Reviews would be nice, but please no flames. If you have any constructive criticism, PM me with them, rather than review. There may be some inaccuracies and such, some may be intended, some may be accidental. Any questions, PM me and I will get back to you. :] Enjoy!

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**Iridescence**

**Chapter 1**

**Death and Rebirth**

Death was awaiting. It had been a long time coming and Severus welcomed it with open arms, or at least he would, had he not had one terrifying thought: Harry Potter did not know the last vital clue to his search for horcruxes. The cruel truth Albus had kept hidden from everyone, even himself, until the vital moment. _For 'the greater good.' Like everything, where Albus was concerned._ It made him angry; he had lived only to protect her son, to make amends for his wretched mistakes that cost her everything. He needed to tell Harry the truth, but it would seem that it was not meant to be. He could only hope that the boy would realise it or…_don't even think about that._ He inwardly grimaced, but his outward expression did not falter as the Dark Lord spoke of the Elder Wand. He did not need to protect the boy any longer; he could only hope that the war would end and that victory comes to the Order. That his actions had not been in vain.

Death was painful, but not quite as painful as life. Felled by his own curse and finished off by the living emblem of his own house. Perhaps death would be better than life was. Severus was barely still alive when Harry and his two friends entered his slowly blurring vision, Harry quickly dropping down before him and holding his hand on his gaping wound, sliced and bitten, left in a bloody mess. His eyes were full of pain as he tried, in vain, to slow the bleeding. It was at that moment that he realised that, despite seven years believing him to be the spit of his father, appearance and attitude-wise, he was actually…more like his mother.

More like Lily.

The green of his eyes and the sadness that dwelled within, despite the man being the murderer of Albus Dumbledore and the man who tormented him for seven years, just for looking like his father. Pain welled in his chest, a pain far worse than the physical blow to his throat. The painful reminder of Lily, stronger now than ever before, mixed thickly with the heavy realisation that he was so much like Lily. Brought up with guardians who treated him poorly. Yet here he was, not a trace of smirk or mirth at the Professor's pain nor a trace of darkness or spite, something he knew well. He knew the boy hadn't used any of his fame to his advantage nor had he grown bitter from his years of bad home life. The reality of the matter was that Severus had ignored the truth and chosen to instead cast him in the light of his father, because it was easier than living with yet more painful reminders of the one whose heart could never be his.

For the first time since he had held the lifeless body of Lily in his arms, he felt tears roll down his face as he asked the boy to take them. He had no energy to give him his memories, only the ability to cry over the mistakes he had made and the final release.

"You have your mother's eyes."

Green eyes were the last things he saw as darkness overcame him. He could have sworn he heard a whispered 'thank you' from a voice he had not heard in too long before it went dark.

It was finally over.

* * *

Severus opened his eyes and blinked, seeing a white sky-like apparition before his eyes. He felt grass underneath his hands and he was instantly struck by how odd this seemed. Was he not dead? He hadn't really believed in an afterlife, or at least that there would be one for someone like him. While he had lived gruellingly for the past seventeen years protecting the son of the woman whose blood was on his hands, hoping to atone for his wrongs, it would never be enough. Never to him. She had died far before her time and had not deserved such a death, never. He had taken her for granted and had pushed her love away, and even though she had married the very person who caused him such misery during what was supposed to be the best years of his life (other people's words, not his own), he could not fault her. To love was, perhaps, to look beyond faults and see only the good qualities. To forgive the misgivings. Like she had done him, with a different kind of love, of course. But love all the same. She had not cared about his poverty nor his unfortunate looks. Where everyone else avoided him, she smiled at him and gave him what he had needed most. Until he had thrown it away and said the unforgivable.

So why was he here?

Severus sat up, looking around as he did so. It was all white, the only differences being the tones, differentiating the grass from the trees, the trees from the sky, the sky from the clouds and so on. It did not take long for Severus to realise where he was. The place he and Lily used to lie down and talk for hours on end. What was he doing here? Was this…really what the afterlife was like? Alone in life and alone in death, he thought bitterly.

"Not quite, Severus."

A voice from somewhere behind him called out. One he had not heard in a little while. He stood up and turned around to see the Headmaster stood there, his blue eyes twinkling as they had done before he had retrieved the ring.

"Albus…" Severus said, momentarily shocked to see him standing there. Albus smiled at him, though this time sadly and without the twinkle in his eyes.

"I'm terribly sorry, Severus. It was a great burden I put you under, but you followed my wishes anyway," Albus said.

"Where are we? Some sort of afterlife?" Severus asked. "It is very…_white_."

"Where are we indeed. I believe, if I am not much mistaken, we are in a place close to your heart," Albus replied. Severus narrowed his eyes.

"Yes, I realise what it looks like, but why, how…?" Severus asked.

"There is a reason you are here, Severus. I am afraid I must ask yet another task of you. One you might, however, find to your advantage," Albus said. Severus furrowed his brow. Was he not free even in death? Could he not rest? The war was surely to be won, should the boy succeed. Should the Order finish off Voldemort in time.

"The war will be over, I am dead…what more could you ask of me, Albus? You know better than anyone the only reason I remained in your service after-after…" Severus stumbled. What happened to his stoicism? What happened to his careful shield? Those green eyes. His care for the Professor he hated. Lily's son. He doubted Lily would have left him to die, no matter what he called her…no matter the path he had taken. Perhaps he would have gone deeper into the darkness and become more of a monster, had Lily not shown him that there was one person who accepted him.

"All is not well, Severus. Harry died, yes, and he returned to Hogwarts, no longer a horcrux. However, even after he has been stripped of his horcruxes, Tom cannot be killed," Albus stated. Severus frowned at the Headmaster. How was that possible? All…seven…horcruxes should be gone, leaving the Dark Lord vulnerable. His eyebrows rose.

"You do not think he created another?" Severus asked, calmly. "If Harry cannot sense them anymore, then it would be more difficult to find out what and how many."

"That is what I fear. We had the advantage before, but I am afraid with such a set back…should Harry be killed for good, along with his two friends…there will be no knowledge of horcruxes and it will perhaps be the downfall of the wizarding world as we know it," Albus said.

"Then…what do you suggest?" Severus asked, slowly.

"Now, here is the fascinating part. You see, most people who have made mistakes, particularly ones which were devastating, that they have come to regret wish they could turn back time. Sadly, the things we say and do cannot be undone. We can only wish to make up for what has transpired. However, it so happens that a stroke of luck has finally befallen you, Severus. By some power I cannot begin to understand, you are here in the echoes of your past to be given a chance to return to a point in your past and perhaps fix your mistakes. But, you will also be charged with the task of making sure Tom's horcruxes are destroyed and that he is taken down before all of the horror from this lifetime does not happen again," Albus said.

Severus narrowed his eyes. "Return…to my past?" Severus asked, hardly believing such a thing was possible.

"Yes, you would be your teenage self again, with all of the knowledge you have retained over these 38 years. You could become friends with Lily again," Albus said cheerfully. Severus gave him something akin to a smirk or a grimace.

"I would not dare dream, Albus. To dream is to disappoint," Severus said, bitterly.

"Well, Severus, you have but two choices: return to your past or move onto the next life," Albus said, simply. Severus smirked, bitterly.

"There never really was a choice, Albus, let alone two. Very well. I will return. How do I do that?" Severus asked.

"You do not need to do anything, Severus. I bid you farewell and the best of luck," Albus said.

"Albus, one question…changing time is a delicate matter. One small change could stop someone being born…" Severus said. Albus smiled in a way that infuriated him; he knew what was coming.

"You pretend like you do not care for the boy, Severus, but I think you do. Alas, that is something we cannot predict. You can be assured that Harry would not care, so long as his parents are alive and well," Albus said. "Much like his mother."

"…" Severus said nothing, but he did not have to. The sorrowful expression on his face said it all.


	2. Chapter 2: So it starts

**Author's note: **Thanks so much for the follows and the reviews! You guys are awesome!

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**Iridescence**

**Chapter 2**

**So it starts**

Severus woke up slowly, which was unusual for him, his eyes opening and quickly darting around him as he realised where he was and remembered…_everything_. Was he really a teenager again? He groaned at the thought; by no means were his childhood or his adult years any better, but at least the latter gave him a certain amount of magical freedom. He quickly sat up and left his bed, walking quietly to the bathroom as his housemates slept on and walked up to the mirror. It was indeed true; he looked into the mirror at the pale, thin and quite frankly unattractive face that looked back at him. His black eyes stared back at him, black and uninviting. His hair long, black and greasy. Thoughts he had not dwelled on in such a long time entered his mind. _Potter or no, you stand no chance_. He quickly changed and left the bathroom, taking his bag and swiftly exiting the dungeons, making his way to the Great Hall with a grace he had only started showing sometime in his adult years.

He entered the hall and walked to the right side of the room, sitting down on a bench at the house table. He knew at least one of his 'friends' would have a Daily Prophet arriving, as they enjoyed seeing if there were any deaths reported. Frankly he had never once liked this hobby of theirs, even if he had been striving to join the Death Eaters, solely out of need for power and recognition. His priorities had been much misplaced. He sighed inwardly and started reading one of his text books absently. This was going to be a long ride.

His attention was taken away from the dull text he had read before by voices from the Entrance Hall, not far from the Great Hall. No one was in the Great Hall yet, simply because it was so damned _early _and few people got up at 6am. Still, the voices were quite loud for people who seemed to wish to speak alone.

"Pettigrew, do you have anything?" A voice asked. Avery. Severus could recognise the thick drawl of his even after so long of not hearing it.

"Ah-ah, no, no-not yet. There's nothing really interesting going on right now…" Peter said. Ah, so the boy had started his betrayal this early? Though, how early _this early_ was, he had yet to determine.

"Come on, you little rat. You've not proven yourself useful yet, _at all_. Are you really wanting to side with us or are you…trying to _spy _on us?" Avery asked. Severus quietly put his book away and disillusioned himself, thinking it best to steer clear. After all, he had never known Pettigrew had been a traitor until it was too late. His heart beat faster; had Severus himself not been the cause of her death…this boy would have been it. His hands twitched invisibly into fists as he thought this. He took a few deep breaths and calmed down. He had spent a great deal of seventeen years, cold and closed off with minimal outward displays of emotion. It was indeed an easy task for him to remain calm, though it appeared his under-grown, hormonal body was going to make it a little more challenging. He stood up quietly, casting a _muffliato _around himself and left the hall. He would find out what date it was another way.

He made his way up some stairs and through the hallways, taking off the disillusionment spell and walking in his rather elegant gait. Once upon a time he had slouched and skulked, but his many years as a Professor, one rather feared, had given him a particular way of holding himself. He had no one bullying him; sure, he imagined there was mockery behind his back, but to his face…few dared to. Did he enjoy scaring students? Well, there was a certain bonus. Students generally behaved in his classes and gave him his much-needed space. He found the floor he was looking for and the desired painting. It was a rather large clock and calendar, a strange portrait in and of itself, and Severus had never really needed such a portrait, but Hogwarts was full of unusual things. Today, he was grateful for it. He peered upon it, as it always showed the day's date and time.

_3__rd__ April, 1977. 6:34am. _So it was late in their sixth year, but not quite exam time. Then the Incident had occurred and his friendship with Lily was void. He did not have to wonder why he had not been brought back to before this. The reason was simple; she had seen the ugly side of him, the side that spat out a profanity he never meant, though she didn't know truth was not in his words that day. Nor was it ever true. If he proved himself to be different to what she thought he was now, then there would be no doubt in her mind. Before the Incident, there had been a growing doubt, even if she didn't want to admit it. No, this would be a chance to make up for what he did and prove to her he cared for her and wasn't like the other Slytherins.

Though…

He turned from the portrait and made his way back downstairs, wondering really whether it was a good idea. Lily might have died in his original lifetime, but she had probably been happy. Should he really try and becomes friends with her again, possibly ruining what good she would have had without him?

_You are a braver man by far than Igor Karkaroff. You know, I sometimes think we Sort too soon…_

Severus slowed down, stopping where he was. He felt a pang of emotion hit him in the stomach, remembering back to when Albus had said that. He had always wanted recognition and to lift himself out of the poor, wretched background he had come from and yearned for greatness, to show people he was better than they thought. In the end, he was too late to realise what he truly wanted. Now, he had the chance to get what he truly wanted, but perhaps Severus had changed over the years. Perhaps…he was not so selfish as his housemates. He wanted so badly to have her back in his life and yet, he did not know how to go about such a feat. He had spent so many years living to protect, living to serve someone else's whims and wishes, that the idea of doing something for _himself _was a strange notion.

Taking himself out of his inner conflict, he changed his direction. He carried on upstairs, up towards the seventh floor where there was something of use to him. The Room of Requirement. Draco had once talked of a room for hiding things inside and Severus also knew of the horcruxes…he had an inkling as to _why _he suddenly knew of them. _Albus must have given me the knowledge as I was brought back here…how else would it be beneficial for him to send me back? I am highly skilled, we know each other well and I am good at fooling people…give me the knowledge of horcruxes and it is the perfect plan. _Severus inwardly scowled; the old man had more tricks up his sleeve than Peeves and the Weasley twins put together.

He made his way up to the seventh floor and found the place where it was supposed to be. So…he just had to walk by it and want a room that hid items? He concentrated hard and paced up and down, before hearing the sound of a door appearing. Once it materialised fully, he opened the door and walked inside, his wand out to be certain no one was hiding. The place was full of broomsticks, books, furniture of all kinds. So much that it was amazing Harry had even found the horcrux in here at all, though if any two houses had the gift of sneaking around and nosiness, it was Gryffindor and Slytherin. Even he, who had favoured Slytherin for the past seventeen years he had been teaching, knew the lengths and talents his own house possessed. He crept through the room, between the large mounds of junk, searching for something. Having a good knowledge and skill with the Dark Arts, he knew it was in here, implanted knowledge or not.

He turned on the spot slowly, his eyes resting on a small wooden box. He crept towards it and checked it for any enchantments, before carefully opening it and spotting what appeared to be Ravenclaw's Diadem. After some careful probing, he transfigured something useless into a jar and levitated the horcrux into it, placing various protective and containing charms onto it. He could not be certain that it was safe to touch; remembering the blackness of Albus' hand after he put on the ring made him careful not to touch these items, lest his second chance be wasted. When the diadem was securely in the jar, he placed it into his bag and left the room quickly, walking down the corridor with the sound of the door disappearing behind him.

_One down…four to go._


	3. Chapter 3: Saving the tears

**Author's note: **Thanks everyone for all the favourites and follows! Really happy to see people liking this fic. :3 Also to the guest who reviewed: don't worry, you'll see. ;) I know there hasn't been any Lily/Severus interaction yet and all, but please bear with me. It'll come in due time. :D

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**Iridescence**

**Chapter 3**

**Saving the tears**

_5__th__ April, 1977. _Severus sat at breakfast wondering what this day meant. The date rang rather familiar in his mind, but given his lack of photographic memory and some twenty-one years since the last time it was this date, Severus was at a loss as to what it was. Generally his memory was brilliant, but this would take some time to recall. He ate his breakfast slowly, looking down the Gryffindor table for signs of Lily. His eyes were immediately drawn to the entrance to the Great Hall, where she walked inside talking to her friend. He heard a little noise beside him and turned just in time to see a spell muttered and it flew towards Lily. He watched as Lily moved in time to avoid it, but fell over in her rush to avoid the spell and, much to his chagrin, James Potter came out and caught her. He watched their little moment of awkwardness with a sudden feeling.

Though this time it was not hatred, grief and envy, as it was in his original time. No, this time it was a sense of déjà vu. He remembered this day; that exact moment and why today was important.

_Today was the day Lily lost her parents._

He remembered not seeing Lily at evening meal and the next morning hearing people's condolences to the grief-stricken redhead. It was the Death Eaters, he knew that well. Severus stood up and left the Great Hall, heading out of the castle altogether. He walked down towards the large gates that closed the castle off to Hogsmeade and smirked as he knew the exact spells that were on the castle, disabling them with the flick of his wrist, enabling them once he was out. Walking a little away from the gates, he spun and disapparated. He appeared in an alleyway and disillusioned himself before stepping out of it, heading towards a familiar house. He stood outside of the house; the car was not there, so Mr. Evans was currently out. Which meant that the attack would not be happening yet. He had time to formulate a plan. Of course, it would be best if he informed the Ministry, but they would not take too kindly to his skipping school and for just how he knew of this.

He would have to contact Albus.

_Of course._

Severus turned on the spot and apparated into the Evans' back garden. He would not have normally been so rude, but he was quite sure a Death Eater could be watching the house. He took off the disillusionment spell and knocked on the patio door. He waited patiently as he saw Mrs. Evans come to the patio door, looking rather perplexed. She opened it.

"Severus? What are you doing here?" She asked, weariness in her voice.

"I am sorry about this, Mrs. Evans, I would not have come, had it not been urgent. May I come in?" Severus asked. She gestured for him to enter and he thanked whatever seemed to be on his side at present for her good faith. She bustled through the kitchen.

"Would you like a drink?" Mrs. Evans asked.

"No, thank you, Mrs. Evans. Would you mind if we talked? I have something to discuss that is of utmost urgency," Severus said. Lily's mum nodded and Severus followed her into the living room, thankful that the blinds were drawn. He watched her walk towards the windows. "Mrs. Evans, please keep the blinds drawn…thank you." Severus noticed she was looking more and more surprised; he would have given anyone who messed him around in such a fashion a glare that could melt the sun, but he knew Lily's mum had more patience than him.

"Alright, Severus…what seems to be wrong? I am aware of what transpired between yourself and my daughter, don't think for a second I am happy with you for making my daughter cry," Mrs. Evans said, a little sternly. Severus swallowed. Twenty-one years and the guilt still had a hold on him.

"First of all, I am deeply sorry for what I did. Nothing in the world can change it nor make up for what I said. Lily…she means the world to me. But I was running too close with my housemates, believing that they could bring me something I thought I wanted, power and glory…coming from a household like mine, I wanted something _better_ than that. However, losing Lily made me realise I had my priorities wrong," Severus said. She must have seen something in his expression, for hers softened.

"I understand, now what was it you wanted to tell me?" Mrs. Evans asked.

"I cannot divulge the reasons I know this, but you must trust me when I tell you that you and Mr. Evans are in danger. The dark wizards of our world plan to attack sometime after Mr. Evans returns home," Severus said. He watched as her eyes widened in shock, along with suspicion and fear. "We have enough time for you to pack anything important to you; we just need to get you and Mr. Evans out before Lily has to lose anyone else in her life."

"Well, from what Lily told me prior to your fallout, she told me you were sensible and sometimes too serious, so I will take you at your word. Even if it is a mistake, at least we would be safe rather than sorry," Mrs. Evans said, standing up. "How am I to pack all of our important things?" Severus stood up and brought out his wand.

"I believe I can assist you there," Severus said. Though Lily's parents had never been unkind to him, giving him no reason to be rude to them or distant, it still surprised him at how cordial he was being. He had spent a lot of his life protecting those Lily loves, it was second nature. At least her parents did not remind him of James Potter. His stomach clenched as he wondered whether she would still date him. His second chance had perhaps been one for him to make amends with Lily and pursue a relationship, should she even think of him that way, but he had lived his life of pain and of sorrow, never to let himself feel hope. Hope was a futile feeling, leading to despair when it is not met. He remembered his previous feelings of hope; remembering words from a powerful wordsmith, _the miserable have no other medicine, but only hope_. He had a lot of hope in his first lifetime, even in the period before Lily's death. Hope that he would find her again, hope that maybe she would forgive him, hope that she would be safe…

Hope was fruitless.

"Do you have a bag?" Severus asked. They spent a good part of the hour packing everything worth a great deal to the Evans' into the bag that had a featherweight charm and an undetectable extension charm upon it. The house was left only with the larger furniture that was easily replaced. Now all he had to do was work out a way for the Aurors to try their hand at catching the Death Eaters, without raising suspicion to himself and giving good reason why they should trust him. Oh, but of course. Albus Dumbledore. A man he was hesitant to reveal his story to and yet a man who could quite easily assist him. Out of everyone he knew, Albus would believe him. He was going to have to speak to Albus today, one way or another.

"I need to get a message to Professor Dumbledore. Perhaps it would be better if I apparated you and your bag to Hogsmeade, I will send a message from there and we will leave your bag with someone we can trust. We will return here and wait for Mr. Evans," Severus said. He saw her nod, looking nervous. Severus walked forward, picking up her bag in one hand and offering her his other arm. "Take my arm and keep hold; this will feel strange."

Severus apparated to an alleyway in Hogsmeade, just to the side of the Three Broomsticks and he placed the bag down before looking at Lily's mum; surprise didn't begin to describe her expression. He let her arm go and gave her a moment to adjust. "Are you alright?" Severus asked, feeling concern for the woman who had always treated him with kindness. She nodded.

"Y-yes, that was…you wizards and witches travel this way?" Mrs. Evans asked.

"Within reason; there are some restrictions, such as Hogwarts and the Ministry. Anti-apparation charms keep people from apparating inside and out of them to ensure safety," Severus explained. Severus picked the bag up again and took Mrs. Evans' arm before leading her out of the alleyway.

"Such a large castle, the people here have such a spectacular view," Mrs. Evans said. "It looks as though it could fall apart any minute, though. Is it safe?"

"There are many wards upon the castle; that is Hogwarts, our school. Muggles only see a castle that looks far too dangerous and rickety to venture into," Severus said. "Even if a muggle should find their way here, even if they dared to venture inside, they would be barred from entry and would go away not realising they had tried, with a distinct impression that they should leave. I assure you it is safe for us students."

Severus felt the need to reassure her, simply because he knew how much mothers like Lily's would worry about their safety, especially not being magical and understanding the fundamentals. Having had no experience with raising children himself, only the teaching of them, he could not truly understand this. He thought it unlikely that this particular notion would change.

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**Author's note: "**_the miserable have no other medicine, but only hope_.**" **This is a quote from Shakespeare's _Measure for Measure_.


	4. Chapter 4: Sooner or later

**Author's note: **Thanks again for all of the reviews, follows and favourites! :] I love to hear what you think of the story.

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**Iridescence**

**Chapter 4**

**Sooner or later**

Severus sat in front of Albus Dumbledore's desk, an unsurprising outcome. He knew he would end up here sooner or later, though he had been hoping for the latter. He was alone for the time being, listening to the faint whirring of the many odd instruments that filled the office. An office he was very familiar with. Severus did not have to wait long as he heard the door to the office open and he was soon facing the Headmaster, sitting down and placing his chin upon clasped hands, studying him, no doubt. Severus sat there staring steadily back at him.

"Well, Mr. Snape, I would be lying if I were to say that I am not at all surprised and puzzled by this turn of events," Albus said. Severus listened; he knew the Headmaster was not finished speaking. "Leaving school to prevent a tragedy from happening is indeed a serious matter, so you can understand that I have a few questions." Severus nodded, well aware of this fact.

"First of all I want to know how you knew Mr. and Mrs. Evans were going to be targeted. Of course, the fact that you were correct in your actions is nothing short of fantastic, but it puzzles me as to _how_ you came about this knowledge," Albus said. Severus sat a little forward in his chair.

"I fear, Professor Dumbledore, that you would not believe me, even if I told you," Severus said, though this wasn't exactly complete honesty.

"You'll find, my dear boy, that I am far more understanding and open to share with than you might expect," Albus said.

"Very well. Where to start, exactly. You see, Professor, I am not quite what I appear to be. While in appearance I am 17-years-old, mentally I am about thirty-eight years old," Severus explained. Albus' eyebrows rose curiously and he beckoned for him to explain further. "In my thirty-eighth year, my life ended and then I was given a chance to return to this time and…_correct_ certain mistakes I made, to stop certain events from becoming worse…that is to say, the future is, as you might imagine, not a particularly good one. Our efforts to stop the war went well, however…there was an unexpected hiccough, which would have led to an unpredictable end."

Severus saw Albus take all of the information in, at least, the summarised version he gave him. He planned to discuss in greater length, of course, once the initial discussion was over.

"That is quite a story. I have seen many things in my time—shocking—things, but this is quite something," Albus said. Severus waited patiently for what he would say next, as the wizened old man sat their pondering, as he was wont to do. Severus was well aware of the man's many quirks; despite his rather unsociable nature, he had somewhat befriended the old man in his past life. Of course, there was bitterness in his memory of the Headmaster and the part he had Severus play, but Severus also knew that in war, some ends justified the means. There had been nothing else in his life.

"Given your frightfully accurate knowledge of today's events, I am inclined to believe your story," Albus said.

"You will receive sufficient amount of evidence via the pensieve, as I will need to divulge some necessary information in order to prevent as much tragedy as possible," Severus said.

Albus studied him for a moment, peering over his half-moon spectacles at the Slytherin before him, one so intent on changing the way the world was going. Ambitious, and also brave. Albus nodded his head. "I would advise you not to do too much by yourself; not because you are incapable, but due to your apparent age," Albus said.

"Of course. As infuriating as it might be, I do realise the possible repercussions of such acts at my current physical age," Severus said.

Albus nodded. He sat back a little in his chair. "Please continue, Mr. Snape. I am sure we have a lot to discuss and although knowing the future is indeed not something to be treated lightly, I must know what is vital to stop the war," Albus said.

Severus began the long explanation, the first war, the prophecy, the Dark Lord's downfall, his place within this, Harry, the second war, the horcruxes…Severus did not for one minute even think of sugar-coating his own failings, for he was responsible for Lily and James' deaths, along with bearing witness to a lot of horrendous acts upon muggles and their magical offspring. It was something that haunted him even to this day, casting his sleep with nightmares, giving him a frequent need for sleeping draughts.

Albus listened intently, never once interrupting his speech. Severus knew that any questions the old man would have, he would ask after Severus was finished. Severus was glad for this; he had spent seventeen years teaching and he did not care for interruptions.

"Right now, there should be five horcruxes currently in existence, one I have already obtained from the Room of Requirement," Severus said. "The others will be much more difficult to obtain."

Albus sat back in his chair, deep in thought for a moment before speaking. "Dark magic indeed, but none too surprising. We must without a doubt proceed with caution. Should he find out what we are up to, it could lead to disastrous results," Albus said. "What items have been turned into horcruxes?"

Severus nodded. "The horcrux I already found is Ravenclaw's diadem, the other four include Gaunt's ring, Hufflepuff's cup, Slytherin's locket and his diary," Severus replied. "A word of warning, should you retrieve the ring, that you do not put it upon your finger, lest the future come too early."

Albus nodded. "I will bear that in mind," Albus said.

After speaking for another hour, with Severus giving Albus a vial of important memories the headmaster would need, Severus left the office and headed back to his dormitory, decidedly tired.

* * *

**Author's note: **Bit shorter than usual, but hey! Okay guys! There's going to be more action next chapter, and hopefully some Lily/Severus interaction (haven't finished writing it yet so can't be a 100% there), but I guarantee there will be within the next chapter or two! I'm sorry that there hasn't been any yet; you start writing with ideas in your head and all of a sudden, what the hell, there is no interaction. O.o Anyway, yeah, so next chapter should definitely be more exciting (hopefully) and we have more of the Marauders in it!


	5. Chapter 5: The Butterfly Effect

**Author's note: **Hey guys! Thanks for the reviews, I couldn't reply personally to a couple of you so thanks! More action in this chapter, hopefully it's written alright. xD

* * *

**Iridescence**

**Chapter 5**

**The Butterfly Effect**

Severus had not seen Lily the day after he had taken her parents out of their home, but he knew she would be with them, in Hogsmeade. It was by far too dangerous for them to return home and they were staying in the Three Broomsticks with a couple of Aurors there for their protection. He had told Albus and the Evans' to keep his involvement out of it; he would talk to Lily of his own accord. When it did not seem as if he were only doing these things in order to win her friendship back, as he knew some people would accuse him of. If Lily forgave him at all, he thought bitterly. Severus could not shake the resentment he held for James, who had received her forgiveness, despite everything he had done. Would Severus have received forgiveness if he had kept trying to get it? He did not know; he had given up and allowed himself to be dragged further into the bad crowd.

A few days later came the last Hogsmeade weekend of the year and perhaps his last chance of ever getting Lily back as more than just a friend. James had asked her out during the trip and she had accepted. Severus felt the bitterness creep back into him and he left the Slytherin dormitories quietly, making his way to the Entrance Hall where the group going to Hogsmeade gathered. Would he stop them? Would he let history repeat itself, or rather, go its natural course? Severus needed to speak to her, to see if there was a chance to be friends again. Preferably _before_ James spoke to her. In the hall, he spotted the familiar head of red hair near the front with her friends, chatting and laughing away. The corner of Severus' mouth twitched, but he did not quite smile. He was…happy for her. Severus had lived so long, for her, for her son, for everyone else…he had become accustomed to the notion of selflessness. A trait Gryffindor held dear and Slytherin scoffed at. His house tended towards self-preservation, doing things in their own best interests.

Severus watched Lily as she spoke with her friends, having once perhaps been that way himself, hurt so much that he was afraid of being hurt again. But in doing so, he hurt worse. He hurt her. Knowing that, Severus had wanted to curse himself. Lily had died, and it was his fault. All his fault; because she was right.

She was _always _right.

He watched James and his friends join them, which made him feel the bitterness that had lined his heart for more years than he cared to remember. Severus merely followed the group down to Hogsmeade, much further behind, unnoticed. For now, he would have to watch from the sidelines, old habits die hard. Once at Hogsmeade, Severus was at a loss of what to do with himself; he had not been to Hogsmeade on a weekend trip since his original fifth year, with Lily. Now he was here, skulking alone. He sighed, following them from a distance. Severus wanted to get her alone, but he wasn't sure he would be able to without the others knowing. A confrontation between him and the Marauders…Severus had managed to avoid it so far in this new life and it appeared today would be make or break for him. He had to be brave.

_I sometimes think we Sort too soon…_

Severus grimaced. Albus had a way of using words in a way to get just the right reaction and response from the receiver. What he was doing now, in this life, was possibly warrant for the description of 'noble', but a lot of it was for _her_. Somewhat. What he was doing would perhaps even prevent Lily and James becoming the couple they were, preventing Harry Potter from existing. But, potentially, Harry would not be born regardless; just a little change could change everything, and…Harry died in the future, despite everything. He remembered the rage he had felt when Albus had told him that Harry had to die. All of his life's work, for nothing. Severus had been played.

Severus was taken out of his thoughts by the voices up ahead.

"Hey Prongs, let's go to Zonko's," Sirius said.

"Sure, hold on," James said with a grin. He looked at Lily, his grin becoming goofy. "Lily, after we visit Zonko's, do you, uh, fancy a drink at the Three Broomsticks?" Severus felt his chest tighten a little; was this the moment? Should he…but it was a simple drink. Severus wasn't even _friends _with Lily anymore; he shouldn't be thinking _that _far ahead. Why would she date him when she could date _James Potter_? Severus scowled, his once hopeful mood turned to bitter resentment. His _second chance _indeed. To relive his life, miserable and alone, once again. Oh, how he relished the very thought. Another one of Albus' plots and he was once again stuck with it. Fallen for a classic case of manipulation from the wizened old headmaster.

Severus clenched his fists, angry with himself. Pain and misery was worth it to see her alive. It was simply astounding he kept such sentimentality after so many years, such that he had not felt since his original teenage years. Severus was reminded of that damned Lockhart and his Valentine's festivities, a day he could not stomach, especially that year. Each year he would stay in his quarters for as long as he possibly could. He was not entirely sure whether he would appreciate the holiday more if he had someone he would want to share it with by his side. Perhaps.

"Sure, we'll go to Tomes and Scrolls, then we'll meet you guys at the Three Broomsticks for drinks," Lily said, smiling. She turned and the girls went off their way. Lily was oblivious to the slightly disappointed expression on James's face, but Severus could not hide a small smirk. The smirk faded when James noticed him.

"What are you smirking at, Snape?" James asked sharply. Severus was unabashed at being caught gawking.

"Nothing particularly interesting, Potter. Although it might interest you to know that Lily is by all means not one to care for selfish people. Surely merely spending time with her, even in a group situation, is enough?" Severus drawled.

"Mind your own business, Sni-Snape. Why don't you go back to doing what you usually do with your Death Eater friends," James spat. Severus shook his head and went to turn and walk away when an explosion stole their attention. Severus whipped around and saw the smoke coming from Tomes and Scrolls, laced with the screams as students ran out of the building in terror.

The Marauders were already running whilst Severus mind whirled. He shook himself and ran after them, suddenly and painfully aware that Lily had been in there. However, he found himself almost crashing into the back of Sirius as the group had stopped abruptly. Severus noticed the black shapes that had started milling around, apparating in and surrounding the area. Death Eaters. James and Sirius dodged a few curses, and another explosion sent them all running in different directions to escape from it. When Severus stopped to figure out where he was now, he realised it was just him and James in the alleyway. Severus watched the other boy point his wand at him.

"Was this your doing, Snape? You and your filthy friends? Well?" James spat. Severus straightened up and shook his head.

"No, I-," Severus started before James interrupted him.

"Shut up! Stop telling lies!" James hissed. James was clearly about to hex Severus before James' wand flew out of his hand and he turned to see a Death Eater heading towards them, wand raised and Severus quickly used Legilimency on the Death Eater to find his mind so obviously without protection. Using this, Severus quickly sent a _Sectumsempra _at the threatening figure before he could cast his own Unforgivable at either of them, though he knew James was the target rather than himself. Severus was still very much in the good books with his housemates. He and James watched as the figure fell to the floor with a gasp of pain, blood undoubtedly pooling on his chest. It was not a fatal blow, but enough to give Severus time to bind the Death Eater with ropes.

"What the-?" James started.

"No time. Now, Potter, if you would please focus and put what duelling skills you have to good practice, go and find Lily and her friends, I will deal with the other one who will follow shortly," Severus said calmly, only the years of experience stopping him from losing his cool. He watched as his long-time enemy, current sort-of ally nodded shakily and ran off after accio-ing his wand. Severus turned as the other Death Eater ran down the alleyway, wand raised. It was clear that the second one realised that the Slytherin before him was treacherous. Severus deftly blocked the curse before sending his own curse, falling into a heated duel before he finally caught the man's shoulder and bound him with ropes too. Severus quickly obliviated himself from both agents' minds after making them both lose consciousness. The longer he kept 'loyal' to the Slytherin elitists, the better.

Severus ran out of the alleyway and saw the chaos occurring in the main street, students battling Death Eaters and already a few injuries. Albus was nowhere to be seen; he wouldn't be, not unless he gets a message soon. Severus spotted something coming from an alleyway and carefully made his way over, glancing in to spot a Death Eater send a hawk Patronus off before running out of the alleyway the other end. Severus narrowed his eyes. Then memories flashed before his eyes and he knew that the Patronus was heading to Albus.

He turned back towards the fight and decided to help from the shadows, blocking fatal curses from students and send curses in different directions as he had learnt to do. Hopefully this time he wouldn't maim an ally; he had only done so to protect Lupin, but the Weasley twin had sadly gotten caught in the crossfire. At least it was only an ear. Severus had no idea who had lived and died through that battle, though he suspected with Harry's death, the casualties were likely to have been great. He swallowed painfully; the boy he had protected had died. He had been a horcrux and he'd had to sacrifice himself. Undoubtedly Harry had done so quite willingly; he was Lily's son, after all.

Severus made his way further up the street, disillusioned and silenced, throwing curses and hexes around, cold dread in his veins. None of the students had died yet, which was a miracle. But the cynic in him wondered how long that would last. His attention was directed to familiar voices.

"Lily, get to safety, I will-," James said.

"No, James! I'm not running away like some damsel in distress! If you think that's the type of person I am, I-," Lily's angry tone travelled quite far.

"I'm not saying that, I-ah, nevermind," James muttered. There was another explosion that forced Severus to narrow his eyes in all of the dust. He could feel the panic swell up within him as he moved carefully, but with as much haste as he could, through the dust cloud.

"_Stupefy!_" He could hear shouted somewhere in front of him, along with a series of other spells.

"_Impedimenta!_"

"_Flipendo Tria!_"

Severus got out of the cloud only to see Lily being pushed violently backwards into a wall with a resounding _thud_, causing the dismantled bricks to fall on top of her. For once, Severus abandoned all caution and ran towards her, kneeling down to start moving the rubble out of the way, fear running through him like sharp knives. Severus feared very little in life; that moment when he realised Voldemort meant to kill him, he did not fear what was coming. Only that Harry had not been told an important piece of information. Severus had never feared being caught in his position as a Double Agent. He never really feared even Voldemort himself.

No, his fear had always been losing Lily and after he had…well, her telling him she despised him, hated him for being the cause of her death and for Harry growing up without parents, her missing his whole life. Though really, he did not even _need_ to fear such a thing; he already held the guilt of such things on his shoulders. Severus hoped against hope that his fear would not become reality once again, especially when his digging revealed a rather limp arm. He worked faster, shaking a little. He could hear James continuing duelling the Death Eater, his attacks becoming far more angry. Panic rose within him, an emotion that was rare for him.

Severus finally removed all of the rubble to find an unconscious and very still Lily. He pulled her gently into his arms and held her, quickly putting his fingers to her neck, feeling for a pulse. It was faint and he could see a rather alarming gash in her head, dying her orangey-red hair crimson as it flowed. Severus brought out his wand and started murmuring his healing spell over and over again, horribly reminded of a familiar memory. Of holding her after finding her dead in her home. Holding her lifeless body, unable to believe that the once vibrant, brilliant, utterly creative person he had fallen in love with was so lifeless now.

He found his eyes becoming watery as he held her, trying with all of his might to heal her.

* * *

**Author's note: **Cliffy! Yeah sorry. XD Anyway, I'm not sure when I'll next update as I am rather busy over the next couple of weeks with work. I hope you guys have a great Christmas!


	6. Chapter 6: Strange things afoot

**Author's note: **Hey guys! So sorry about the late update, with christmas and work, it's been busy! And apologies once again for the cliffhanger, that was terrible and I had planned to update sooner.

Note to a guest who left a couple of queries: 1) on describing Severus as unattractive: he is describing himself as unattractive (since this is mainly from his viewpoint) as that is what he believes and other people have made him believe. If he took better care of himself, then yes, he would probably be far more attractive (though beauty is in the eye of the beholder). There are many people who believe themselves unattractive, and I imagine Severus is one of them (he's not got much reason to be confident; his father was horrible and the Marauders were awful).

2) I'm sorry if the pacing is too fast; I thought it wasn't too bad and I think if I slowed it down anymore, I'd be writing boring filler. I mean, so far before this chapter it's been less than a week, so it's actually not jumped much in time/date. I just cut out the menial stuff. It's hard to keep a balance and I will warn you there might be a few jumps, like between the end of the year and the start of seventh. I haven't decided yet. If you feel this sounds annoying/I've misinterpreted your words, then my apologies and I understand if you can't read anymore. I hope you do, I love having readers (don't we all? XD). (:

Anyways, enjoy!

* * *

**Iridescence**

**Chapter 6**

**Strange things afoot**

Severus was vaguely aware of James' appearance by his side, asking frantically about Lily and whether she was alright. Severus swallowed heavily.

"She has a wound in her head and her-her heartbeat is faint. It-it is picking up a little, but I am concerned about how much blood she has lost…" Severus said, his voice filled with emotion he rarely showed others, stuttering as for once he was losing his cool, after so long being so stoic. Severus noted that it would seem safe now to take her to the Hospital Wing. Severus picked her up and looked around, hesitating. He looked quickly at James.

"Take her to the Hospital Wing, quickly," Severus said, handing her over. As much as Severus hated to do it, he had the more advanced skills to carry on the fight. Fighting for only himself and for Lily was no longer an option. He had spent too long playing the background protector; he needed to make sure no one died and he would work better on the frontlines, in this situation. James nodded and made his way back up to the castle, but stopped suddenly when a cloaked figure appeared right in front of him. James made to move out of the way, but the figure was blasted out of the way.

Suddenly more figures had appeared and Severus was relieved to see it was a mixture of Aurors and Order of the Phoenix members, even if the latter was only a small group at present. Sounds of pops littered the airwaves as the Death Eaters disapparated away, meaning Albus had finally arrived. Severus closed his eyes. Thank Merlin; he was not sure how much their luck would hold out. James had carried on up to the school, the Order members were escorting the students back up towards Hogswarts and the Aurors were rounding up the few Death Eaters too injured or unconscious to escape. Severus frowned; as happy as he was that no students (minus Lily) involved in the attack had come off terribly injured or worse, it was strange. Very strange. His cynical mind would have expected at least one death in such a skirmish.

He was brought out of his thoughts by a familiar voice.

"It appears Miss. Evans was wounded and you are not by her bedside. What is on your mind, Mr. Snape?" Albus asked.

"Aside from Lily, there was no terrible injury, and in a battle as such, I have never seen one come out without casualty. I am relieved, of course, but puzzled. I…I am…" Severus stumbled, unsure how to answer.

"You are worried for her safety and fear the worst? Understandable, Mr. Snape, however, I believe this is not her time," Albus said.

"Albus, this attack never happened in my original time; something has changed enough for them to attack Hogsmeade," Severus said. Albus raised an eyebrow.

"What has changed significantly?" Albus asked. Severus frowned.

"Retrieving the horcrux would be of no consequence as of yet and Lily's parents…" Severus murmured, his eyes widening. "…Are alive. The Butterfly Effect. They survived…however, it would not be the first people to get away from their death sentence…"

"It appears someone has a grudge against Miss. Evans," Albus said.

* * *

Severus sat beside Lily's bed in the Hospital Wing, watching the unconscious form of his former best friend intently, relief clear in his features that she was going to recover. He knew things would only become more difficult as the future was unravelling and changing more so than he had anticipated. What could the fates possibly have wanted with Lily's parents? Was Albus right; was someone trying to get to Lily? Her parents had been protected, so his deeds had not been undone. Severus sighed and finally looked up at the staring form of James Potter, his whole form screaming suspicion and, was that, curiosity? Of course, by this point in time Severus had fallen further in with his 'friends' and later became what they had accused him of all along. He mentally clenched his fists, remembering how stupid he had been.

He was aware of a lot of prophecies being self-fulfilling; the one of the Potters was no different and his past, though not a prophecy in the technical sense of the term, it had been accused and thought of…and instead of proving them wrong, Severus became the very thing he had denied being. He had his priorities set straight now and though he was unsure what the new future would hold, it would certainly be better than the last. Severus' only reservation was Harry. He sighed; what were the chances of the exact same children being born in a rewind of the past that would change no matter how discreetly he tried to?

Severus had to stop worrying about this; he would not have been sent back in time if not for a reason. He looked into the hazel eyes of his enemy, before standing up and leaving the room, content that Lily was fine and not wanting to be stared at by James Potter any longer.

* * *

Lily's eyes fluttered open sometime later and she blinked a few times, her vision blurry at first. When her surrounding became focussed, she looked around to see her friends and James sat there. Lily tried to sit up and immediately her friend Lorelai reached out to help her.

"How are you feeling?" Lorelai asked.

"My head hurts, but that's to be expected," Lily said, giving her a smile. Lorelai smiled in return and looked up at James with a strange expression.

"You can tell us, you know. It won't end up badly," Lorelai smiled knowingly. Lily looked at her quizzically before looking at James, beckoning him to speak his mind. James sighed.

"Out there…in the attack…you were blasted into a wall, which crumbled down on top of you and-and I was just about to try and get you out when Snape got there first and frantically dug you out. He held you and must have healed you or something…and that wasn't the only confusing part…the way he held you, looked at you…I was pretty distracted duelling the Death Eater but I caught a glimpse…his attempts at an apology last year, I think-I think it was genuine," James said, helplessly. Lily listened patiently and her eyes widened, feelings of shock, pain and warmth all filling her eyes. James had hated Severus…him admitting such a thing had to be the truth. Just looking at James, she could see how lost he was. How much it puzzled him to say such words.

Lily lay back against her pillows, still searching James' face, all the while filled with emotions she had tried to keep at bay. The hurt, the anger, the loss. She and Severus had been drifting apart for years, but the loss was still very much felt.

"…How did he look?" Lily whispered.

"He looked…he looked like a man who was about to lose his reason for living…" James replied, equally quietly. Lily stayed silent, trying to take that in. Lily didn't think James had the best observational skills, if his observation of her dislike of him before the start of this year was anything to go by, so him noticing such an expression on Severus…? Lily looked back at James.

"He helped me…he still cares about me…" Lily murmured.

"In front of the Death Eaters…I doubt they would recruit him, if that indeed was his plans…" Lorelai said. "That's got to stand for something."

"I…should speak to him," Lily said, a little breathlessly.

"You need rest. Do you need any painkilling potions?" Lorelai asked. Lily shook her head and nestled herself into the covers some more.

"I guess I should rest…" Lily sighed, looking disappointed. Lorelai stroked her hair with a small smile.

* * *

**Author's note: **Sorry if the shortness of the battle scene is disappointing; I suck at battle-writing, so assume that it did last a while. XD


	7. Chapter 7: Change of Heart

**Author's note: **Gosh guys, I don't know what to say but that I'm sorry this took so long. Work's kept me busy and I've struggled to write this chapter. Thanks for everyone who's still reading! In regards to this chapter, I do hope it's not too fast or ooc. Admittedly I have doubts myself, but hopefully it'll be ok.

To Guest: No worries. I am merely painting Severus as has been described, even if Harry's narrative can be said to be unreliable (which yes, good point), there's also how the Marauders picked on him. Actual truth or not, when you're constantly bullied and told you're worthless/ugly/etc., then there's a chance you'll start believing so as well. I think Severus has had such a time that he probably has little self-esteem, even if in his adult life he is very well-guarded. So, that's just to (hopefully) clear up any uncertainties people might have about Severus and his feelings of being unattractive. Bullies suck, basically.

Without further ado!

**Chapter 7**

**Change of heart**

"What do you mean, Snape seems to have changed?" Sirius snapped. James, Lily, Lorelai and Remus were all sat with him in the common room. Remus sighed and tried to carry on reading his book, though he doubted he would get anything read with this commotion going on.

"You didn't see him yesterday; he looked genuinely concerned about Lily," James said. "I've never seen that sort of side before."

"He's faking it. Snivilus is obviously trying to worm his greasy head back into Lily's life in order to hurt her again," Sirius spat.

"We're back to this, are we? Do you _ever_ grow up?! He saved my _life_, for Merlin's sake!" Lily cried, exasperated. Lily had been discharged from the Hospital Wing that morning and she was definitely looking and feeling a lot better. Lily found she was surprised that she and James were on side against Sirius. She had never seen James not take Sirius' side and vice versa. Before Sirius could say anymore, Lily took herself up to the girl's dorm room, throwing herself onto the bed. Lorelai followed her up and sat down on the edge of her bed, stroking her hair.

James ran a hand through his hair and shrugged. "Padfoot, I'm not going to trust him that easily, you know? I'm just saying I saw what I saw…and I'm going to find out more," James said.

"Slytherins don't change, Prongs! Certainly not slimeballs like him. Don't you remember what he called her? No one can take that back. 'Oh, I didn't mean to…' screw that! Only elitist scum use that word!" Sirius growled.

"Well, we confirm or deny whether he means this, then. We need to make sure he's not trying to take Lily for a ride," James said. Sirius still didn't look convinced, but James didn't expect him to. He glanced at Remus, who was looking over his book at him and watched his friend give him a nod. Peter wasn't even here. Probably in the library studying; he's been doing that a lot, trying to keep his marks up. James left the common room and started walking through the castle, with no particular destination in mind. He did want to see if he could confront Snape, but he had no idea where he would find him. And Sirius had the map. James descended the stairs only to see the Slytherin in question ascending some other stairs towards the second floor. He was in luck. James threw his invisibility cloak over his head and followed him slowly.

James followed him all the way to the third floor, where Snape approached the Gargoyle that led to the Headmaster's office and mutter a password he couldn't hear. The Gargoyle moved and the Slytherin disappeared into the Headmaster's office. What was he doing in there? Why did he have access? Very few students had access to it; James wasn't even sure whether the Prefects had the privilege. James stewed over this for a while, but he couldn't for the life of him come up with any plausible reason for this. First he sort of helped James, saved Lily and now he was consulting with the Headmaster. It was all very sudden; James and Sirius saw the map regularly, and up until now, to their knowledge, none of these strange occurrences were happening. Snape had skulked in his usual places and not playing some sort of reformed 'hero' like he seemed to be now. It was rather strange. Maybe they could add another enchantment to the map, so it could show them previous actions. Would that be possible? He didn't know. However, James was brought out of his thoughts by the sounds of the Gargoyle opening. James took off the cloak and shoved it inside his robes before Snape came out.

James saw the Slytherin glance at James, though there didn't seem to be any indication of surprise or disgust…his face appeared to be carefully blank. He just walked past James, presumably to return to his dormitory or something, but James caught up to him. "Snape! We need to talk," James said. The Slytherin turned his head to look at James and raised an eyebrow.

"We do?" Severus asked lazily, his face full of indifference and confidence that James didn't recognise. The way he held himself…James was stuck for what to make of all of this. Something had changed, but James had no idea what it was. How could this change have happened so fast? Was there something going on here?

"Don't act all smart, Snape. I want to talk to you and in private," James said.

"Do you take me for a fool, Potter? That I would go somewhere alone with you? How do I know you and Black aren't going to ambush me?" Severus asked. James ran a hand through his hair; he couldn't really argue with Snape there, that _was _something he would do. He clenched his fist for a moment before releasing it with a sigh.

"Look, Snape. I know I've not given you much reason to trust me, and I understand that. Really, I do. But I saw you out there; helping Lily, looking so…_desperate_…like you still care about her—" James started. He saw Snape's face become angry, slipping out of the careful mask.

"Of _course _I care about her, I—" Severus hissed, before taking a deep breath and calming himself. The emotion bursting from Snape so suddenly only furthered his questions; could this be for real? Did Snape truly care about Lily? Or could it be an act? But then, why would he save Lily? Although, maybe Lily was an exception; he wanted to become a Death Eater, but Lily was the exception to his rule.

"Then why did you call her that name? Why do you want to become a Death Eater? And how can I even trust you to tell the truth?" James asked.

"There is veritaserum, I am sure the headmaster has some, I could take a drop of that, if I cared enough about your opinion," Severus said, levelling him with a cold stare. "You forget, Potter, that despite your friend's attempt upon my life by using Lupin's…condition…I have not revealed that information. I took an oath, Potter, and you should know that a Wizard's Oath is difficult to break." James listened and actually looked like he was taking in what Snape was saying. He sighed.

"Alright. What about my other questions?" James asked. He watched the other boy's expression falter and look around, apparently coming to a decision. He motioned for James to follow him and James did so, finding himself following the Slytherin up a few floors to the seventh floor, to a door he had never seen before. James had co-created the map and he was pretty sure he knew all of the hidden places…but this room? He'd never seen it before. Strange. James followed him into the room, which was a room not unlike the East Wing, with armchairs and a fireplace. The door closed behind them and Snape sat down wearily in one of the armchairs. James joined him in the one near to it. They sat in silence for a few minutes before Snape finally spoke.

"Yes, I called her _that word_, that abominable word. However, I did not mean it. I cannot explain, exactly, why I said it…I can barely understand it myself…I was humiliated, and I…I felt some resentment to being defended by a girl…I regretted it the moment I said it," Snape said, emotion leaking into his voice. James found himself surprised that he could…_almost_…sympathise. A little.

"Mm, yeah, I can understand that…I think I'd be annoyed if I had to be defended by a girl…even if that is insulting to them…" James muttered, remembering the attack on Hogsmeade; he'd tried to get her to run, but she was having none of it. "You saw at the attack…" He laughed dryly. He then looked at Snape seriously. "But it doesn't excuse what you did."

"Obviously."

They sat in silence once again, staring away from each other and all in all…it was awkward. James looked at Snape for a moment before the other boy sighed.

"There was a part of me that wanted what I thought the Death Eaters could give me…strength, power, glory…more so in the last…couple of years," Severus said. "In the first few years, no." He stayed silent for a moment; James found himself surprised that he felt no satisfaction in finding out he and Sirius had been, partially, correct. He remembered what Lily had once told them; that if Snape'd had any such inclinations, then he and Sirius would have driven him to it. Was that true?

"…Why?" James asked, reluctantly. He saw Snape look at him for a moment before looking up.

"I have always felt weak and powerless; at home and here. I wished to become a Slytherin, both because my mother was one and my wish to rise above…" Snape hesitated for a moment, his eyes darting towards James, as if he were shocked he was revealing such information. James felt his throat go dry. Snape sighed, wiping his hand across his face and through his hair. "It was mostly for the power to protect myself and to become more than the poor and worthless being that I am…however, there was some part in it, that I wanted to protect Lily. If I was one of them…" Snape hesitated, his expression troubled.

"…You'd be able to grant her immunity? I don't think she'd want that. I know, I know…I'm no better. Even if you protected her; even if they allowed her to live, she'd still have to watch as others died, perhaps even her family," James said.

Snape merely nodded. James stared at him for a moment, a rueful expression playing across his features. "I won't pretend that what you've got going through your head isn't disgusting, but…I'm no better," James said with difficulty, making Snape's eyes turn to him sharply, eyebrow raised. James was silent for a moment. "I'm sorry. I know nothing I might say or do will take back what I did, but Lily made me realise…that I was wrong. No matter what you might be like, even if you were truly despicable…bullying isn't right. I was so blinded by my childish hatred that I never grew out of it…I guess neither of us are particularly good people."

James let out a deep breath, running a hand through his hair. "What now? What's your stance now? Is Lily the exception or…?" James asked. Snape shook his head.

"No…I don't hate muggleborns…or muggles. Lily's parents made me realise that not all muggles are bad, just as not all wizards are good…" Snape said. It was a lot to take in and James wondered what he meant. He had a feeling that there was something about his home life…but he would not ask. Not now. Maybe…if they ever became amicable.

"So…" James started.

"I have no ill intentions; I want Lily happy," Snape said, as if he had read his mind. Silence descended upon them once again; both quite rightly shocked and unsure by this turn of events. Where did it leave them? James found himself wondering about this and knowing that, now, with their terribly messy slates, maybe they could work on it, if they thought they could get past the others' crimes.

"I don't expect you to forgive me, Snape, but I do believe you. Even though these changes seem to have been so sudden…I doubt you'll give me that reason," James said. Snape scoffed and tipped his head. "But I do know you've been talking to Professor Dumbledore, so something must be up."

**Author's note: **They're not friends, don't worry. xD It's not _that_ fast and stuff. I'm not sure whether they will become friends (would take a hell of a lot of forgetting the pain and stuff so phwaor), but this is the start of some amends. I always imagined, if James or Sirius were gonna grow up and make amends, James would be first. Sirius would definitely take some time. I dunno what got me putting this in James' POV, but I'll probably switch it up a little bit here and there, but mainly from Severus' POV. I've had a few ideas for way into their futures, like, alternative prophecies and such.


	8. Chapter 8: Hope burns anew

******Chapter 8****  
**

**Hope burns anew**

"You're right. It is between the Headmaster and myself. As for your…apology…" Severus said, a little bit unsure, and surprised. "I can't forgive you, not…yet." _Second chances. I've been given a second chance, even though I don't deserve it. I treated Harry…his son…horribly for years, ignoring his mother's goodness within him and shunning him away to keep myself from feeling more pain. I should…extend a hand…_ Severus looked at James. "I do believe that the sudden changes are not only in myself, Potter." Severus saw the Gryffindor sit back in his seat and draw his eyes skywards.

"I watched you when you got Lily out of that rubble…it just…I don't think that kind of emotion, especially from someone like you…no offense…could be faked," James said, looking like it pained him to say. Severus surprisingly found himself not taking such offense; he knew that both of them had their prejudices against each other, justified, especially in his own case.

"I have never felt so helpless…so scared…so devastated…as that moment…" Severus said. It was truth in the supposed timeline, but not in his real timeline. But James only knew him as the 17-year-old, not the 38-year-old who had seen too much. Even the pain from his childhood could not compare to losing Lily at the end of fifth year and nearly losing her in the attack.

"Sirius doesn't quite agree with me…he still thinks you're a git," James said. Severus snorted.

"I'm not surprised there, Potter. He _is _a Black, even if he is supposedly not like the rest of them," Severus said.

"He's not, but neither of us were right to do what we did…he'll just have to learn for himself. I can't, however, stop being friends with him," James said.

"If there was one thing that was actually decent about you lot is your friendship and loyalty to each other," Severus said. "Lily is friends with Lupin, despite his connections, it is possible to befriend someone despite their poor taste in friends." James narrowed his eyes at Severus, but Severus just shrugged.

"Your friends are even worse," James stated, frostily.

"That is not quite what you think, Potter. There is no trust, loyalty or warmth with those former friends of mine. Yes, I am no longer wanting to truly associate with them. If I do so now, it is merely to keep myself out of their line of fire. It may not, however, be possible, given my recent actions to save Lily," Severus said. It was true; they were already giving him suspicious glances. He would never become a Death Eater now and he was thankful; he could not become Albus' spy, if that ever crossed the old man's mind. He already had a spy, anyway. Severus just needed to help her stay alive. Severus chuckled inwardly, rather bitterly; he had pretty much taken up the empty slot she had left. But that was a matter for another day.

Severus actually saw James wince; probably involuntarily. "Trapped in a house that'd hate you?" James said. Severus nodded. Silence fell between them again, and Severus knew that Potter was merely thinking about that. Taking it in. "Maybe you could stay in this room? It wasn't here before we entered…maybe you could transfigure a bed…"

"It is the Room of Requirement; it appears when you need it, as whatever you need…within reason," Severus said. "Perhaps it would be an option." His pride stopped him from expressing any sort of gratitude verbally; it had been a considerate thought on the Gryffindor boy's side, but he had many years of resentment to peel back. This was his second chance. This could also be a second chance for James Potter, perhaps for Sirius Black…who knew. After all, Severus was by no means innocent himself. Therefore, he should extend a hand, if James Potter really decided to turn over a new leaf. Of course, the many years of hatred and resentment would not disappear overnight, but perhaps things could change over time. After all, he _had _died trying to save his wife and child; that had to count for something, even if that was a natural thing for a good parent to do.

"Pretty impressive…I can't believe we never knew about it before," James said, looking around as if it held some sort of wonder; right now it was not much different than the cosy warmth of the East Wing. It surprised him a little that Potter had not known about it, and yet his son had. The self-proclaimed _Marauders_ spent so much of their time exploring and getting up to no good, much like that of Potter's son and his friends, though that was more out of snooping around in regards to the latest danger held within the school and outside of it. It had been safer protecting him when he was _not _in the vicinity of himself.

The two stayed silent; Severus refused to add a comment about James' statement for he wasn't sure that it wouldn't come out as a snide remark. Best to say nothing than bring their amicableness to an end; perhaps they were beginning to build bridges between them. Who knew? But the silence was awkward, and heavy. Severus had often found solace in silence and sometimes within his thoughts, when not delving into the more painful places of his life, but this was simply uncomfortable.

"As…interesting…as this was, I am afraid I must be off," Severus said, standing up as James did, the other boy nodding in agreement and they both made their way out of the room, turning to leave in different directions, before Severus stopped and turned around. "Oh, and Potter…I would keep an eye on your friend Pettigrew. All may not be quite as it appears," Severus said. James looked at him strangely, but said nothing and carried on. Severus knew it would not be that simple, and he would have to see what happened.

Both boys went their separate ways without another word. Neither friends nor enemies. A strange limbo between.

Something called hope.

Severus made his way slowly back to the dungeons, wondering what had led him to have such a confrontation with Potter, of all people. He had come back in time hoping for a second chance and he had…more than he bargained for, admittedly. It was, obviously, something that could be deemed a good thing, although he wondered what the impact of this particular talk would be on Potter and Black's relationship would be. He didn't care much for Black; at least Potter showed here that he was the better man of the two of them. However, having lost a friendship himself, he knew the pain of it and he couldn't say he would wish it on another, not truly. Maybe he would have in his original time as a teenager. Dark and warped as he was, bitter and resentful. He was still bitter and resentful, but it was a different colour to the original.

Then there was Pettigrew, the boy who sided with those who he thought could protect him. He was selfish and cowardly, betraying his friends in order to stay safe. Severus had never liked any of the four boys; and he had admittedly sought a sweet sense of revenge in his true Death Eater years, mocking him and intimidating him. It really hadn't been that difficult. It amazed him that he had been placed into Gryffindor at all, but then, the hat sometimes made mistakes, saw potential when it was not to be or did not see potential when there was. Severus winced at these thoughts, brought back once more to Albus' words. Those crushing words, and yet, it was difficult to place into words exactly how they made him feel.

Severus turned a corner and found himself stopping sharply, but the other person had not been quite so lucky. He found himself reaching out and helping the other person to right themselves, despite his usual dislike of his personal space being invaded. On closer examination, he realised the person was a redheaded girl, and she looked up. Severus found himself staring into familiar green eyes, ones switching from surprise to wariness. Of course. Severus expected no other reaction and watched as she backed up a little. He realised he was on the third floor now and that Lily must be off to the library.

"Se-severus…" Lily murmured. Severus merely nodded. Master of Potions, intimidating students and a master spy and yet he was lost for words. Silence fell as she seemed to regard him, wondering exactly what to say. What must have been no more than fifteen seconds felt like a lifetime and Severus could feel his heart beating fast, and strangely found himself worried that Lily could hear it too. It was a strange thought. One he was not entirely sure he understood. "Severus…thank you. I can't say I understand what is going on…but without you, I don't think I'd be alive right now."

"I…you're welcome, Lily. Listen, I—," Severus started, before the sound of footsteps followed by one of Lily's friends came around the corner, spotting Lily and then Severus, but oddly making none of the grimacing expressions a few other of her friends would make. Lorelai Lovegood. The would-be aunt of Luna Lovegood, except Lorelai had never gotten to meet her niece. Severus remembered with a guilty lurch that she had been captured by Death Eaters before Harry was even born, interrogated through torture and eventual death, but Lily's friend had remained loyal, refusing to give up her friends' location. Severus had been forced to watch a number of deaths in his tenure as a Death Eater, but hers had been by far the worst.

"Hey, Severus!" Lorelai said cheerfully, no hint of awkwardness. That was typical of the strange girl. She looked at her friend and Lily looked back at Severus a little sheepishly.

"Well, uh, see you around, I guess? We've got some homework to do," Lily said, unsure of herself. Severus couldn't blame her. One moment he was the git who called her that foul name, the next he is saving her life. A bit of a whirlwind, really. Severus nodded and stepped aside, watching them leave, before he carried on his way.

Except this time, there was an ever so slight trace of a smile on his face.

**Author's note: **Ohmagod, Lily and Sev finally talk! Sorry, I keep teasing you guys, it's not on purpose, honest! The story's just...going places...and I had originally planned for Severus to tell Remus to watch out for Peter, but haha.

And I've had a few questions about this, but I promise you this is Snily through and through. I'm just taking my sweet time to get there.

Thanks for all the reviews I have so far and all the follows/faves! They're much appreciated.


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